Journey to Bangalore for Kshar Sutra treatment

I've been home for almost 2 months already and it’s insane how this time business plays with your head. I was away exactly 8 months and it’s mind boggling to think of all the things I experienced. I knew it would be a challenge returning to home life – but I don’t think there really is a way to prepare yourself as much as I tried! Major reverse culture shock.   My last couple of weeks in Bangalore were a time of reflection and many emotions. Thankfully I got to spend a lot of time at the clinic as I underwent Panchakarma (a full detox which I will write a separate entry about when I'm capable). This gave me a lot of quality time with the staff and time to mentally prepare for goodbyes. Physically, if I didn’t have scarring and some sensations as a result of, I wouldn’t blame myself for thinking I never had a fistula to begin with! On my last visit with doc, I asked if there was anything at all I need to do going forward – his response ‘try to forget you ever had it’. I ca...

I’ve been officially fistula free for 11 days...11 days full of many thoughts and emotions. It’s slowly sinking in and there’s been lots of moments where reality hits and I’m overcome with joy…I’ve had heaps of mini celebrations, dancing and singing really loud in my room (sorry not sorry to my neighbours). It’s so freeing to be able to move without worrying about pain! I’ve been going in daily for wound dressing, but the wound is pretty small now and there is no pain at all! Like at all!! Can’t believe. Not even slightly. I do still tense up in my appointments and as smiley Dr Vipin pointed out that’s due to trauma. It’s going to take a while to understand there is no more pain I think. Even when I sit down I still have moments of hesitation and automatically sit on my leg, then have another moment of joyous realisation and sit like a normal person! Then I want to tell whoever I’m with – look at me! I’m sitting! I have had to take the packing out of my own wound which I was dreadi...

Once again I’ve had a bit of a gap between entries…for a few reasons, but mainly because I wanted my next entry to be me announcing I’m FISTULA FREE. And here I am. Doing just that! 27 thread changes, 101 appointments and 3 procedures later!  After what was meant to be my 28 th thread change (but ended up just being a clean), I sat and chatted away with doc while he had his daily chai. He casually says he can make me officially fistula free if I like but I would have to have a procedure with epidural. I reeeeally didn’t want any more procedures and had hoped the thread would fall out on its own...The painful moments have become few and far between, and I didn’t want the days of pain that come after surgery. Not to mention that I would potentially end up with a wound that may need packing – there’s NO chance I would be able to pack my own wound! Absolutely not (insert vomit emoji here). Doc reassured me he would do the packing should I require and the pain would not be as i...

I feel like I posted my last entry only a few days ago, but all of a sudden I’m up to thread 21! This time business is freaking me out. It’s going slow and fast and up and down all at once. Crazy. The last 2 thread changes were quite sore as the track is much smaller now. Mainly cause doc has to kinda squeeze and manoeuvre the wound/area to do the change – but as has been the case with almost all other of my TWENTY ONE (woaaah) threads, the pain only lasts a short time. Tensing exacerbates it, but as if it’s possible not to tense up during! Appointments are still very entertaining and as I’ve mentioned, the more you see doc, the more of a rapport you build which is lovely. Doc has imitated my laugh, sang along to the song I put on as a distraction, jokes around and tries to distract me through the minute of pain as I laugh-yell at him that I know what he’s doing. As the previous patients were departing so rapidly, I said to doc and the staff that I’m gonna be on my own – the respon...